here's hoping the mess will someday be cleaner.....

This one is about something current, something that's always happening.
-BREAK UPS

Is it just me or have you noticed how very messy break ups get sometimes? I mean, it's as though you start off with the best of intentions for you (both) and somehow its derailed to somewhere messy, complicated and unnecessary. With me, I like to get a clean break when breaking up, but sometimes it ends up the opposite- tangled and messy.

I've noticed in the few relationships I've had also that it ends almost like a mini divorce, with custody battles over certain items accumulated or shared in the relationship. These tend to be friends or places visited while you were together. It's like the ex boyfriend gets the friends on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays and you get them the other days. Or it can be that the friends decided that you're too unfit to befriend them still after the break up, or that your value has diminished post break up so they opt to spend all their time with the ex. Just like that you've lost people who you once shared a life with, a friendship with. Just like that-it's over. With places you go to habitually in a relationship, when you break up those places are sketchy to go to alone (or worse yet with someone else!). It's like you used to go to the movies every Saturday at 8 and then for ice cream, post break up what if you did that and ran into said ex? AWKWARD! Did you come on the wrong day? Were u supposed to be there that day at all?!?? Confusing, confusing.

Break ups should be simpler. There should be a form you fill out that says, like a divorce that it can't work out because of this, that and this. Where's the check box for ending a relationship that says 'irreconcilable differences'?

Also, why is it that if you think you're breaking up for the right reasons for you and the other person-somehow you end up either feeling like or questioning if you really are doing it for the right reasons? How come you do something best for yourself and it makes you look selfish? That's pretty lame.
How does that saying go? 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions'. You can have the best and most genuine of intentions but somehow it ends you up looking like the devil. Again-lame.

When there's a break up, its TEXTBOOK that after it all settles one person looks like the bad one and one looks like the damaged one. WHY IS THAT? If it ended it obviously damaged the both people involved! I just think it's pretty stupid (and I am throwing this at all who do it, including me at the points that I am guilty of it) that one party is labelled as the douche and the other as the victim. If a relationship ends it affects BOTH people, granted to differing levels and impacts- but it does impact them both.

I'm still young in the relationship game, but I think and hope that relationships get easier to end sometimes, that it's less messy when all you want is a clean break.


Here's hoping.