So I have just about 250 pages to go in Breaking Dawn, the last installment in the Twilight series from Stephenie Meyer. While reading the books, I got an earful of criticisms that I was reading 'crap', and that the books (and subsequent movies) were 'gay crap' (for a lot of people their vocabulary sure isn't filled with variety!). I heard what they had to say, but continued reading and watching the movies, because I have become a fan to some extent, of both book and films. I guess I got sucked into the Twilight zone you could say... LOL

With pursuing a major in Literature, we read A LOT of books, both by force and by willful choice. It was while I was coming to the end of my last semester in my last year of university, that I started to hear faint talk of this Twilight book, and more so about the author- Meyer. Mind you, the first set of reviews I heard of her work were reeking with negativity, I believe I heard somewhere that she was marked as 'an insult to Literature'. OUCH. I paid no attention to it, thought 'well I mean if it's that horrible I really should not even bother with it'. Eventually though curiosity got the better of me, I saw the first film, and I was hooked, and then before you knew it I was watching the second movie. Then I thought I'd actually like to give this woman's books a read, see what it's all about, see if she really is that horrible. So I went out and bought (against a lot of people's advice not to waste my money on it) the last two installments in Meyer's series- Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.

After Eclipse, I was a fan, sort of. I liked the story, and the characters interested me.

I immediately was taken with Eward Cullen, I mean for a 104 year old vampire stuck in a 17 year old's body, he was dreamy (for lack of a better adjective). He was a total gentleman, and it was just...somehow appealing.

As for Bella's character, I developed a love/hate/more hate relationship toward her; but I was always interested in what she would do next, which therefore kept me interested in the book! ha!

It's a romance teen novel; and call me a hopeless romantic or a sap but I always like those kind of books! I was intrigued by the relationship between the characters of Edward and Bella; and later Meyer steps it up by introducing a love triangle involving the two lovers and Bella's best friend Jacob- I mean teenagers are going to get hooked onto that!

Finishing up Breaking Dawn now though, and I have to say, ALL I like in the book are the characters (and not all the time even), and the love story. In terms of how she develops her plot, Meyer's approach is piss poor; taking multitudes of pages to set up, explore and resolve a conflict that can easily be done in about two chapters. She draws things out, until you lose interest of the outcome, it comes 'Oh I don't care what happens! I've been reading for way to long and this isn't resolved yet!'. It's like pulling literary teeth, sad to say.

Plus I don't know whether this is a fault of the editors, or Meyer herself, but there are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors, I find it hard to believe that a New York Best Selling novel has spelling errors in it! Say what, she succeeded on some level, because she's making millions from her books and the movies.

People tell me this Twilight saga is stupid and 'gay' mostly because she has distorted to some, and destroyed to others the entire concept/image of what a vampire should be. Apparently, we've been taught that vampires are death inflicting creatures, who are ugly, scary, and prey on human beings only to devour them in the most beastly ways possible. Meyer's blasphemy shows them in a different light; as flawless, totally handsome/beautiful people, who sparkle like diamonds in sunlight, rather than burn. I mean I will be the first to admit that sparkling, glittering vampires is a tad bit weird and stupid, but it works well with the breed of vampires she's presenting in her books. So while Twilight's Cullen family differs greatly from what we all know, who said there has to be one generic image of a vampire?

I mean yes, Anne Rice has scary beasts who brutally murder their prey, and the vampires in movies like Blade, Queen of the Damned, Underworld and Bram Stoker's Vampire were nowhere similar to Meyer's attempts. BUT- the one thing all of these books and movies have in common with their different concepts of vampires is that they were crafted to grasp and capture a specific kind of demographic/audience! Teenagers won't all go to watch ugly, violent vampires who gruesomely kill people- I won't even choose that. Hence Meyer is very smart to have molded her new generation of vampires to captivate, and even seduce the teeny boppers into loving the books.

The Twilight saga has, in my opinion few similarities to other vampire images, they're mostly always portrayed as really handsome/beautiful, and this helps them because they have to seduce/memorize their preys well enough to distract them from the fact that they're going to be eaten like a well prepared five course meal eventually. So she thought outside, but somewhat near to the box. LOL

Meyer has said that each of the installments in the Twilight saga was loosely based on some literary work; and honestly if you look closely and peer through the never ending conflicts, and the spelling and grammar errors, you'll see them. Twilight takes from Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice,New Moon from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet ( i really did see this one), Eclipse from Wurthering Heights and Breaking Dawn from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. See she did a good job with loosely applying inspiration from those sources, but her method of doing so SUCKS.

Anyway, after reading half her collection, I'm glad the curiosity got the better of me because I actually read it, and formed my own opinion, although some what similar to the both sides of the debate I often hear. Rumor has it that Meyer's is planning to attempt another installment of Twilight, Midnight Sun- which is basically the entire story of what happens in the four novels but told from Edward Cullen's p.o.v. (See, she's banking on her character's appeal... but essentially giving us literary regurgitation of what we've already read)..... lol.

So arguments aside,books sales and movie sales, and the millions of screaming little girls will tell us that Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga has become a full fledged craze, people have gotten bitten by the vampire concept, and they're loving it!

Create a mental picture in your minds; vivid as can be. Stormy weather, overcast as far and wide as the eye can see. Gusty winds, lightening that is both bright and fierce- and thunders that shakes the ground with its furious crackling. Now place yourself in this chaos; scared, frantic with trying to find a way out of this bad situation that seems to be the end of you. Just then- the winds abide, the lightening dims till gone, and the thunders are silenced. Within the greyest of clouds, there is a ray of sunlight; eventually it beams through the grey clouds and emerges to illuminate everything around you.

Moral of this one: During the worst of storms, hold fast to faith, for eventually the sun comes out and lightens up everything that appeared withered the tempest.

REMEMBER:

No one will manufacture a lock without a key; similarly God won't give problems without solutions

Sometimes in life we’re all guilty of thinking that we’re going to surrender to the little and large tempests of our lives. We’ve all been there, fatal mindset and thinking that all is lost. The little wisdom above should be our umbrellas in the storms, the promise that good comes with bad.

Whatever the problem; financial, personal, physical, mental, emotional and any and everything in between- don’t give in to the problem, await the solution!

Let faith be your umbrella, and let positivity be your raincoat. Protect yourself from the showers of doubt, the thunders of fear and the blinding strikes of lightening. With time, even the worst of storms pass, and while there is damage to be fixed, all is restored, eventually.

Today, this blog aims to give hope, optimism and faith to those that read it.

Those three traits can never be wasted, and are the few things in life that should be stored in excess and abundance.

I hope that we all remember that even in the gloomiest of times; things always get better. My grandfather used to always say ‘this too shall pass’; and I’ve come to realise that it’s a simple truth that some people forget. Every trial and tribulation will pass with time; always keep that in mind.

So I think I’ll close this one off with a reminder, that I hope is gentle yet persuasive to us all- all grey clouds have a silver lining.

Walking down the road one day, Alice and two friends noticed across the road what appeared to be an empty lot of land with a tall atrocious gate blocking the contents. "What an eyesore! Alice's friend exclaimed; but Alice suggested they go closer out of curiosity for what was inside. Upon walking into the gates, they all exclaimed with shock and wonder at the most beautiful and breathtaking garden, filled with a variety of gorgeous flowers of all types, colours and sizes.The group smiled in their silly assumptions and decided that it was probably best not to judge things based on what appears to be faulty or flawed on the outside, but rather to look deeper within, because there is probably something wonderful and waiting to be noticed and appreciated.

"Special people overlook your broken gate and admire the flowers in your garden"

Nice story don't you think?
It strikes home with me because I've been both culprit and victim to the moral of the tale.
I've judged people based on their flaws, faults and mistakes they've made. I've been part of cliques that 'branded' some people unworthy of second chances, forgiveness or a deeper look. And nothing has hurt more than the feeling of the same stamp being placed upon me, a damaged lot of land that has flaws that can't be understood, tolerated or fixed.

Tell me this: Why is it that we are so quick to judge those with flaws and cast them away, when we are ourselves tainted in some way as well?

People make mistakes in life; misjudge, misunderstand, lie, cheat, and other traits on the 'naughty' list. These decisions often put flaws on our 'gates' so to speak, but just because a person's 'gates' are faulty or flawed doesn't mean that their 'gardens' are worth any less or nothing at all.

A good book i once read once said 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. Ring a bell? A Holy one? It's the Bible.
With those wise words in mind, I ask 'why are all these stones being cast?!'.

Human nature makes us judgmental; selfish, proud, prone to hurt and vindictive. But we are also still HUMAN; and we make mistakes.
If everyone in the entire world since the beginning of time didn’t give a deeper look past the most destroyed gates; then some of the most beautiful, breath taking and beneficial gardens would have never been known.

Today, ask yourselves, are you living in a glass house and still attempting to throw stones? What if the people in your life did that to you?
Everything around you would be broken, damaged, flawed, but YOU would still stand; worth acknowledgement, consideration and a chance.
As a fellow metaphorical lot of land in the story above, I know that though my gates are broken, battered and somewhat flawed, there is still a beautiful garden, with flowers of every type, size and colour to be noticed and appreciated.

So until we can totally repair the flaws, take back the mistakes that have tainted us, let's never forget that past what you glimpse is something worth truly LOOKING at- something beautiful and worthwhile.

THAT is the question!

**Disclaimer: For those of you that read this blog regularly as well as those who have stumbled upon it, please recognize that we are all granted the freedom of speech. With this blog, as with all the ones I write, I mean no offense nor do I mean to attack anyone's beliefs. I am, simply, stating my own.**

I have been hesitant to write this piece only because politics, in this country, as in any, is a very delicate topic to voice one's views on. Like race and religion, an individual's views/beliefs are often misconstrued as attacks on those that believe otherwise. With recent events swarming around upcoming elections, and all the 'bashing' radio and TV ads and campaigning going on, this paper doll started to ponder on elections, voting and all that political jazz.

As a young woman of 23 years now, I am a voting virgin, and am looking forward to my first time participating in all this madness of deciding who runs this government. WAIT. WHAT? You've NEVER voted before? BUT WHY?! Honestly voting never made sense to me.

I never wanted to vote because I was of the opinion that it didn't make a difference, my one single vote, wouldn't make a difference in the election outcome. If a large number of people all go to vote the ruling party out, and said party still manages to win by a landslide, the hope of change becomes a bit less attainable and a little more impossible. So I opted to keep my finger clean and avoid all the elections and voting mess, and see what happens. That was about six years ago, and now after living the aftermath of elections gone by, I think it best that dirtying my finger is something I need to do in order to make some contribution to clean up the mess that the government is making of this country.

Voting is such a comess filled process though! So many negative things occur during the time leading up to an election. All sort of dirty, morally deprived, immature political tactics drive campaigns to swoon the population toward voting their way.

Voting, and politics on the whole in this country is, and I am sad to say but this is the truth, a process driven most times by racial loyalty. Instead of voting for the party that promises the people to make this nation a truly thriving and productive country, and also to give us an all around better quality of life; people vote for the party that is the same race as they themselves are. Birds of a feather flock together, and apparently in Trinidad and Tobago, they vote together too for their kind. So the thought process seems to go like 'Ok I'm of Indian descent, so I going UNC all the way!', or 'Well I'm of African descent so none of that for me, I going with the PNM!'. So if we're going on that mentality, who do the douglas vote for? Where is the party that represents the people of mixed racial composition? Thought so- it doesn't exist. As it should, no party should exist to promote racial segregation and discrimination. Better than that!

More so, the political parties that recognize the presence of the 'race relation' element and encourage that kind of thinking to get votes, are of poor conduct and morals. That encourages 'divide and conquer' not unity and co-operation toward a better nation.

Political parties in this country also, in my opinion are guilty of suffering from 'crab in a barrel' syndrome. You know what I'm talking about, imagine lots of crabs in a barrel trying to get out. One crab will eventually come out on top, but at the expense of others, pushing the rest down to the bottom of the barrel so that they emerge victorious. George Washington once said "90% of the politicians give the other 10% a bad reputation", and this rings true for the politicians in my country. The leaders of tomorrow are always bad mouthing,spreading rumors and taking low blows to their running mates of today. I understand very little of politics, but I often wonder if there is absolutely no room for upstanding, moral and mature behavior and conduct. Must you secure votes by telling me what ills your opponent has done in their lifetime? Is it my concern to hear from you screaming at the top of your lungs that that individual is either an alcoholic, has a broken family or was not top of their class in secondary school? Rhetorical questions really, but still I feel sometimes that they need be answered to drive home the point. NO. No those things do not concern me, they are merely distractions you are spitting out rather than telling me what your plans are for improving our government, and our country. Tell me your thoughts on crime, health care, education, senior citizen care and the like. THOSE, are the things that concern me, not every possible little detail you can dig up that can be used to taint the others in the election race. Take notes political crabs, the barrel syndrome will get you on top, but you can't leave your conscience in the barrel with the others you stepped on and pushed down to get out.

Change is a crucial necessity in this island because, plain talk bad manners, things are horrible as they are. It is a fact of life, people fear what they don't know, the unknown is not something people run to willingly. However, and this is one of my main reasons for change in the government of this country; if what we know isn't working then it's time to know and try, and believe in other things. If change isn't happening, then its time to close the current door and open another, it's the only way the wind of change will get to us. I know it's easier said than done, because nobody wants to put blind faith in the unknown parties, or the ones that haven't been in government before. But think of it this way; even the very Prime Minister currently in office, along with others before him, and Minsters of Parliament alike, were ALL unknowns at one point in time. At some point, people took a chance on them, wanting change to happen.

So, as I said at the start of this piece, I thought that my one single vote did not make a difference. I think differently now. I realize that my vote is significant, because as I heard somebody say once, not voting IS voting. If you don't vote for the people who can make change, then essentially you are voting for no change.

If you are like me, and confused as to who to vote for, try to sift through all the slander, name calling and reputation crashing and see who wants to attack the issues that affect us, the people.

"Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them". Paul Valery makes sense, with elections coming up, we could get caught up in the the comess and the 'fray fray' and vote for the wrong party. We may forget to seek answers to the problems that are plaguing us right now, we don't take part in bringing about an end to the situation that so many of us are now tired of living in- a government that is so divided and caught up in fighting one another down, that they are dividing and destroying a nation. I want to vote for the party that is addressing things that I am concerned about, that affect my life;

*Education: is it ever going to be 'free' and 'free for now but you pay us back in some form later'?

* Health care: I would like to see improvement in the care and facilities, because who is pleased with hospitals where patients are lying on the floor rather than in beds? Where is it acceptable to have patients who need medical attention waiting for hours on end, bringing them closer to demise than rehabilitation?

*Crime: If the death toll and murder rate is crossing 100, then something is wrong. If it's crossing over 200, it's alarming, if its crossing 400 and more- then it is dangerous living here. Governments should protect people, not have them living day to day fearful for their lives.

There are other issues, but my mind can't remember them all at this point in time. I'm sure you get my point with the few I've touched on though.

So come May 24th, the answer to the question is to stain my finger in faith that good sense and good hearted, smart, mature and moral-filled people emerge victorious.

Like all my posts I like to leave you all with something to ponder, this time around it was something Henry Adams once said:

"I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians"

Today a friend and I got into a talk about HEIGHT. It started from reading and chatting about something she blogged about, what it's like being short. I read it, and thought to myself 'You know I've never stopped to think about how it must be for people who aren't tall'. During the conversation with her she said that she too never thought about the height issues that taller people face themselves. So Maria, my friend, this is my response to your height blog- the way i see it from up here ;)

For all my life, I've been tall- let me correct that, taller than most, shorter than few. Those that are taller than me are practically giant size, so for me there's either been shorter or taller. RARELY is anyone ever my height.

As a tall person, life isn't all that great from all the way up here. While I accept and embrace my height, sometimes it's a bit over rated, and people don't look at the downside of being this tall. Society blasts images of tall women being beautiful, and having 'legs for days' as the 'it' thing. I think its lame that they put down people that aren't automatically 6 feet tall, and I often wonder why someone who's under 6 feet or even under 5 foot 5 isn't considered gorgeous? In my opinion, beauty isn't determined by someone's height. Some of the most beautiful girls I know are shorter than I am- HA! Go figure! Explain that society and mass media! LOL.

So back to my original purpose- showing my friend that tall people have 'Ugh! My height!' moments.

Like walking into a crowded area and being one of, if not the tallest people there. It's good if you want air, and well, I dunno, updates to the changing weather condition, but it kind of sucks because everyone else is a few inches or feet below you talking.

Another thing that sucks about being tall (or taller than most people) is that high heel shoes are almost always an impractical purchase. I LOVE high heels, but they're all beautifully lined up in my room sitting pretty, because I am so tall already, that wearing gorgeous heels just makes me look weird. Pretty, but weirdly tall.

On a personal level, try, just TRY being almost 6 feel tall and meeting a guy that's your height...i DARE YOU. Sorry guys, but most guys I know and talk to are either my height or shorter, I can count on one hand, literally with probably three fingers the guys I know that are taller than I am. It's funny. So being of giant size compared to the guys you know makes dating a wee bit difficult.

OH! I heard my friend say that being shorter sucks because you have trouble shopping, for jeans in particular. 'You always have to end up cutting it' she said. My friend, being tall is equally as difficult! At least with your height issue, when you buy jeans you have fabric extra to cut! Try being my height, when I buy a jeans and it's not my length, that's it! I'm not a magician, I can't grow on more to it! so HA! Tall people 0- shorter people-1.

Being tall sucks because most times in conversation, people are either staring up my nose or, if they're male and just plain rude, carrying on direct conversation with my chest. LOL.

Being tall is just kinda lame sometimes, because I'd just like to fit in (LITERALLY) with everyone else, who is, shorter than me. Being tall is over rated, just like being shorter is under rated!

Like I said earlier, some of the nicest and best people I know are shorter than I am...and in the height talk, I think we have to remember, while being tall is good, good things come in small (and in this case) shorter packages!

Hello darlings. How is everyone?
How was the long Easter weekend for you all?

I trust that for some it was all about eating the chocolate, for me Easter is always associated with chocolate (ha ha). For others it was about getting dressed up in your Easter colours of pink, orange, white and yellow and heading out with loved ones. Others I am sure hit the beach and soaked up the smouldering hot sun. However you spent it, I hope that all my readers spent it with people you love doing fun and memorable things! Most of all I hope you did it all with a thankful heart.

If the tone of this blog seems a bit sombre then you're on the right track right off the bat.

Let me tell you about how I spent my Easter weekend: it was interesting and scary to say the least. While everyone was either out liming it up, or in church or simply at home doing nothing, on Good Friday I was in emergency surgery. I kid you not, totally serious- that’s how I spent my day, and the long weekend also. To put it simply, because I know the following questions are around the lines of ‘what happened’ and ‘why?’ it involved my tummy. All is well now as I type (obviously!), recovery mode in full effect for those who are concerned.

In retro-spec, because thankfully I can look back on it now and analyze, remember and sift through the thoughts, emotions and feelings of that crazy day and the days after- that was a TRIP! I went to the doctor just thinking it was either a simple bug, or gas (chucking everything up to gas clearly isn’t a smart plan. Ha). Only to find out that it was rather something much more complicated and serious than what I thought. Hearing a doctor tell you ‘Well I think we’ll need to operate soon to fix this’ knocks the wind right out of you. Whatever I was thinking at that point was suddenly gone, and at that instant, fear checked in and in a BIG WAY. In situations of uncertainty, if you know me at all, you know that I instantly panic, and this is what happened. While family was being contacted (because this blogger is anaemic and needed to get blood donated before the surgery), and everyone was giving hopeful ‘you’re going to be okay’ sentiments to me, all my mind was processing was ‘IS THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN!?!?’.

When I was sixteen I had major surgery to prevent colon cancer (genetics has a funny sense of humour), and now to go through the surgical experience seven years later was just mind blowing. All of the same thoughts, fears, emotions and feelings found themselves present within me once again, sitting comfortably as though they never left. I thought and feared the obvious ultimate worry of someone going into surgery ‘Will I die?’, followed by ‘I SERIOUSLY don’t want to die though!’. Then the fear kicked in and the emotions kicked in; I instantly felt scared till I was numb. I mean numb as in nurses are preparing me for surgery and I am feeling NOTHING; the I.V obviously, but it was as though nothing else registered. All the movement and activity, excitement and what not around me and I just sat there (eventually laid there) and was numb. The fear then just gave way oddly enough to sadness, I felt sad at the negative outcome of the day, fearing the worst. I felt fearfully sad that when they put me under anaesthesia, and told me to close my eyes, that I would never open them again. I started to look at my family and loved ones in a different light, with a different lens in a way. I took them in as though it was the last time I got to see them. Fearing this could be the last time I saw them, I just couldn’t get enough of watching them. And then the tears came, cue the crying. Fear is a ‘baddist’ emotion- enough said.

I can’t believe I’m going to say the following, but surgery is one experience I think everybody should go through at least once in your life. Hold up before you right me off as crazy, or a masochist. Surgery gives you a sudden emotional and mental PURGE, ALL you think and feel come flooding into your system all at once, and never in your life will you feel and think all that at one point in time. That is not unless you’re near death, or at least that’s what they tell you- the whole ‘life flashes before your eyes’ thing. Anyhow, back to my previous thought- about surgery being on your bucket list. Speaking as a somewhat veteran (ha ha) it makes you instantly re-evaluate and appreciate everything and everyone in your life. You sift through every relationship you have with people in your life, instantly re-think every word you have ever said or not said to people and go through a check list of things you’ve either done or not done thus far in life. Surgery makes you, well no let me rephrase this- surgery made me evaluate life, and though it shouldn’t take this incident to do that, I’m grateful it happened.

So to throw you back into my re-memory and post ‘I am so glad to be alive after that scary experience’ analysis of the Easter weekend surgery- I’m now laying down in the room waiting to be wheeled into either the rest of or the end of my life. At that point in time the only two people with me were my mother and my boyfriend, bless their hearts for somehow keeping me from bursting into a huge panic attack, and like I said before, I was just looking at them, really LOOKING. I looked at my boyfriend, who was trying to reassure both myself and him at the same time that this was going to work out, talk about faith huh? He smiled at me and said that it was all going to be ok, and there are very few people in my life that I believe when they utter that sentence to me, him included, and on some level- I hoped he was right. I was grateful to have met him, thankful that the Lord blessed my life by placing him in it, and just happy that I loved him, and that he loved me. He smiled and I smiled back, holding back tears of course! And then I shifted my gaze to the other person there with me. I looked at my mother and thought ‘I LOVE THIS WOMAN’; I felt such pride and yet such sadness at the same time. I was thankful to God that he picked this woman to be my mother, thankful that he made such a wonderful choice, and grateful for the relationship we’ve had thus far. Somewhere in my mind, I thought while looking at her ‘If this is it for me, I’ve been blessed to have her as my mother’. And at that point, while she was looking at me with a smile, and because I know my mother I can tell you that she was smiling and holding back the most epic cry of her life, I smiled back at her-grateful for her.

Then they came to wheel me into the operating theatre, and the tears were pushing to come out, the flood gates were so about to buss! Pardon the dialect. Ha.
All at once I thought of so many other precious people in my life. I thought of my father, who was at that point in time, on his way home from Barbados to meet up with me. I imagined how positively frightened he must be, and the kind of enormous nerves he was feeling. Unsure of whether when he got here, there would even still be a daughter to see. That made my mood even worse; the fear I was feeling for myself and everyone I knew. I hoped and prayed, because at this moment you have to believe me when I tell you that I was praying so loud in my mind and with such fervency in my heart that the Lord must have heard me LOUD and CLEAR- that when he arrived, I was awake and well for him to see me. Similarly I thought thankfully for having him as my dad, and was so grateful that God made such a top notch choice on joining us as dad and dautz (abbreviation of daughter- it’s a thing my mum and I always say). My mind then jumped to my little sister, and I REALLY started to physically try to hold back tears at this point. I just prayed that the Lord brought me through this because I knew I was not done knowing my sister, and that she was not done knowing me. There is so much I want to teach her, and so many things I want to experience with her. I ALWAYS wanted a little sister and I thanked God for giving her to me and begged God all at once to bring me back to her.

At this point, I’m sure you’re wondering the same thing I am as I type ‘WOW! For someone going into surgery, she is thinking A LOT!’ HA.

To shorten things up a bit; in the few minutes before they knocked me out, few special people crossed my mind, and I asked that I get another chance to come back to all of them.
OKAY- laying on the table now, and I see the anaesthesiologist about to place the mask above my nose. He says ‘Ok Gabby close your eyes and take deep breaths in for me’, and I think (screaming in my mind)‘PLEASE LET ME WAKE BACK UP! PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME YET LORD! PLEASE LET ME OPEN MY EYES’! And I take those breaths, and out I go.

People, waking back up from surgery feels like you’ve been under water for a longer time period than you took enough breaths for. GASP! And I’m awake again, ALIVE still! Instantly I am elated, ecstatic that I am still here, thankful so thankful that the Big Guy decided to leave me down here a bit longer. Of course because I am still HEAVILY drugged up (Oh sweet morphine or similar drug! How wonderful does thou make me feel!. LOL) I can’t see a thing, for nothing would my eyes stay open! I hear voices, trying to recognize who’s around me; I hear my mother, my uncle and traces of other family members. I’m thinking ‘OPEN EYES’ and nothing like that is happening... I’m just wiped out with medication. Eventually I open my eyes long enough to look around, and I see orange (my Uncle’s brightly coloured t-shirt, but a glorious colour as the first I see after I wake up, grateful to be alive!)) And then I see my mum, and I am filled with gratitude and happiness.

I am still here (I think to myself). ‘THANK YOU’ I say a million times in my mind.

So everybody I see after waking up is seen in a new light, a thankful, appreciative and even more loving light. My dad arrived, and I think ‘Thank you that he’s here, that I am still here’, my mother, aunts, cousins, grandmother, and my boyfriend all make me feel as though life just got two million times sweeter.

So while still recovering, I end my Easter weekend recap to all of you.

As usual, I like to leave these blogs with something that we should think about, something that I think about.

It should never take a life threatening experience for us to be appreciative of the lives we are blessed to have, and make no mistake about it people, it is a BLESSING. The mere fact that we can go at any point in time should strike us so hard that we ultimately wish to live life to its fullest, enjoying and living each day to the MAX. Spend it with people you love, avoid things and people and situations that make you unhappy, because every minute you spend unhappy is one LESS minute you spend living the life you are blessed to have.

LIVE. LOOK. LOVE.

Live life to the fullest- it’s only one we get to have!

Look at it all with the lens that is appreciative and happy to be blessed with the people that are in your life and make it sweeter.

Love. It makes life better. Love yourself (by taking care of yourself first of course), and love those around you that enrich, rather than deplete your life.