If it's possible I literally felt like doing what the girl in the picture is doing a few hours ago. Growing up you change in so many ways, both positive as well as negative and I have to admit that unfortunately I've changed in that it almost takes nothing to get me angry sometimes. I guess you can say my patience is on vacation- it seems like it may be permanent but I'm still hoping it comes back! As I grow, my temper follows suit, so much so now that I, like other people around me, am afraid of myself when angry.
In case you didn't realize it just yet- this is a 'vent piece'; if you don't feel like taking this in then by all means feel free to close the page. I just need a moment (or more than one) where I sit and just let it all go.
I've heard that 'he who angers you conquers you' and if that's true then I get conquered A L OT. Recently though, it only takes very little to set me off; but very little of the same, or the familiar if that makes sense. For those of you that don't really know me, this side of me is something you're not yet aware of. Count yourself lucky I guess, lol. For those of you that do know me, and very well too, you're well aware with this side of me, and also with the factors/elements that trigger me off. So I wont have to , nor do I want to delve into too much of the source of the anger, I just want to type till I've calmed down.
ANGER- it's one of the most powerful and also most regretful and shameful emotions we're capable of. It's sometimes so easy to get angry with someone, at something, but I find it difficult sometimes to get rid of the anger. How to deal with it is often my issue. I try so many things, it's often funny. My instant reaction as of late is to just walk away, and breathe as if the room's devoid of all air- deep, frantic breaths that are supposed to calm me down, but don't really do much. If that fails,I head straight to my I-pod and find my 'pissed off ' playlist, and just lose myself in the songs, somehow the anger fades while I zone out to the (most times) rock music filled with screaming lead singers. As of late I've taken to resolving the situation that angered me in my mind, I say,plead, and often scream what I want to but should not say to the person that's angered me mentally. No i'm not crazy; normal people can talk to themselves, it's the crazies that answer themselves back! LOL When the anger is just too much to even begin to deal with I often do the worst thing for myself and others involved- just talk then and there. If it's one thing I've learned in my life so far it's that whenever you're over come by a negative emotion, it's best to walk away, process things, calm down, and then come back and talk things out. Speaking to someone driven and consumed by jealousy, rage, envy or anger is never a good thing to do. It only makes things worse.
I've found that lately every time I get angry/upset about something, it's with a particular person/situation that just will not go away. Repetition is a helpful tool most times, in this case it's often a leading factor toward pissing me off. If I hear something a few times, especially when it's irritating or unnecessary, I get a bit irritated. But when it's over and over (and over) for a continuous amount of time, then my irritation progresses to infuriation. *think of The Incredible Hulk; he gets crazy mad and then BOOM! Turns into something very very ugly. It's like that! Just minus me ripping out of my clothes into a size that's a million times bigger than normal.lol*
I dunno, I just think that sometimes people should recognize that things they say, and things that they do rub others the wrong way. I do that, or at least I try to do that a lot. Make mental notes. If those don't work, invest in post its and stick them to your clothes or right onto your forehead where you'll always see it. Continuous, repetitive habits and tendencies, when coupled with stupid and rude attitudes are never welcomed with open arms by me. Things need to change- what's that? Change isn't an option?
You can't teach an old dog new tricks Gabby.
B.S. A whole steaming load of it! Every thing changes, at some time or the other, to some level- change is the constant. So where changing is concerned, I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't matter to me if you will or won't (cus that isn't an option), it's more of you doing it in either large or small amounts- because it WILL happen.
I've heard that people with bad tempers get angry/upset for all the wrong reasons- that maybe true. But if anger is such a dangerous emotion, then I wonder is there ever a right reason to be angry? Is there ever a right time to be angry with someone? No, it just happens. We can't explain it. We just have to deal.
Right now, I'm dealing. I choose to be silent vocally but inside it's all spewing back and forth, what I said, what I want to say, and what I think will never be said. I'm dealing.
Would you look at that? Looks like I've type myself calm. Guess the time for anger has passed.
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy."-
Aristotle
Aristotle
